Five years ago, when my beloved spouse John Scull died, I was so grateful for my background in Quaker silent worship and Buddhist meditation. During the days, months and what is now years that have gone by, meditation has kept us as close as the ways phone calls used to keep us connected when one of us was away.
With the help of my book Together Still: Love Beyond Death I am now travelling the world (virtually and in person) sharing my story and listening to others’ stories about Continuing Loving Bonds. We are peer-counsellors, experiential educators, co-researchers, co-travellers and supportive companions. Together we are learning and growing by sharing our many tangible and spiritual practices for transforming grief back into unconditional love.
There is so much to learn from the spirituality of meditation, contemplation, dreams, prayer, clairvoyance, heart-to-heart conversations with friends and spiritual care providers, uncanny coincidences, signs in nature and more.
In the meantime, here is a 5 minute guided meditation on Continuing Loving Bonds.
And here is a story of my meditative visits with John.
Entering into meditation involves settling my mind, heart, body and spirit into a relaxed state that is free of ruminating, craving, illusions, delusions and other busy distractions. I focus on breathing my love for John and his love for me into our hearts and souls.
Within the stillness is a calm place of attentive listening to what Quakers call divine light or the small still voice of God. I listen to this source with all my senses. As I listen I draw upon skills I have developed by sitting in silence with Quakers and Buddhists. I also draw on skills from walking, paddling, bicycling, sitting, watching, and many other ways of being in nature. And I draw upon all my ways of communicating with John. As I listen to the night, I often feel his presence in the breezes nuzzling my cheeks. The sense of touch is such a comforting way of communicating. I often sing quietly. Music is such a harmonious way of conversing. I often listen to my memories.
As I sit on our deck immersed in my memories of the many nights John and I gazed at the moon until we lost our senses, I settle into these new present moments of sensing my spirit communicating with John’s spirit.
I sense John’s spiritual hugs as tangibly as his physical bear hugs used to be. Every moment of our meditative visits are companionable and peaceful experiences of being together on our deck looking out at the night sky. I am a spiritual being in my temporary physical body. John is a spiritual being made of light. Although everything is so very different, our love story of being kindred spirits, soul mates and best friends continues to evolve.
Thank you for reading my story of continuing my loving bonds through meditation.
I am an ordinary person who became extraordinarily special and magical by receiving the greatest gift there ever was which is simply to love and be loved in return. Most people in the world have also become extraordinary by fulfilling the main purpose of life: Cultivating unconditionally loving relationships with one or more family members, friends, pets, and the more-than-human wild beings in nature. Some of us have even found intimate love with a soulmate.
When someone we love dies, the outcome of our deep love is deep grief. We can gradually transform our grief back into the love it has always been through a well researched set of tangible and spiritual practices called Continuing Loving Bonds. If you haven’t already done so, I hope you will subscribe to my blog by leaving your email below.
CONTINUING LOVING BONDS 